Frequently Asked Questions

 

 

You talk about 'depth meditation', but what is that exactly?

 

A depth meditation will take you beyond technique into a deeper, or (depending on what language is used), higher state of awareness. To be more specific, like most other meditation practices, you will use a technique (i.e. an object of focus, such as the breath and/or a mantra), but here the technique is such that it enables you to go beyond it - to let go of it - into a deeply peaceful and/or blissful state. In this state, you are fully focussed on and at one with your essence - your soul - the source of wellbeing.

It is a spiritual experience and powerfully nourishing, uplifting and strengthening of one's wellbeing. It can transform your life.

 

 

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Your Self Mastery Coaching seems more like counselling to me - what's the difference?

 

In general, coaching is more action/goal-oriented and counselling more coping/problem oriented, but there is a huge overlap and my approach acknowledges and honours this.

 

The approach of the Progressive Counselling & Coaching training I'm qualified in aims to support a client to get to know and connect with their essence identity/soul (the source of our mental & emotional wellbeing, inner strength, resilience and will) and to strengthen that connection - through a combination of presence, providing a safe, compassionate space, deep listening and empathy, intuitive guidance/direction where needed and teaching of tools, with the overall aim of empowering the client to be fully aware of the choices they have, to be more self-compassionate and to master themselves - to take charge of their minds.

 

Since qualifying in 2007, this approach has been profoundly empowering and liberating in my own life and that of clients. 

 

Goal-setting may or may not form part of the approach, depending on what the individual needs at the time.      

 

 

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I have tried mindfulness and I have to admit, I gave up quite quickly as all that happened is I became more aware of how unruly and uncontrollable my mind is and that wasn't pleasant. Was I doing it wrong?

 

I appreciate your openness and honesty. No, it sounds like you weren't doing it wrong. It is very common for people who are new to mindfulness and not used to just being quietly with their own thoughts and feelings to quickly become aware - as you say - of how unruly and seemingly uncontrollable their mental activity appears to be. People sometimes have a 'wobble' at this point. But, please know that with an approach of persistence, patience and curiosity (all really part of self compassion/kindness), the mind normally calms.

 

There are two ways to practice mindfulness:

1) Purposefully paying attention to whatever you are aware of; e.g. thoughts, emotions, senses, sensations

2) Purposefully paying attention to something in particular (an 'object of focus') - outside of, or in a meditation practice.

 

In No. 1, the only control we are exerting over our minds is paying attention. In No. 2, we are exerting more control.

 

If we try to exert too much control over our minds at a point where it is seemingly uncontrollable, we simply may not be able to gain control and this perceived failure may trigger emotions such as frustration and/or anxiety. 

Here then, it is often better to let the mind be free whilst practicing observing it (No. 1). In other words, we may have to stick with No. 1 until our mind is ready for No. 2.

 

Lastly, be aware of the effect on you of a) mental stimulants such as anything containing for e.g. caffiene, taurine, guarana, and b) fatigue, which will make the mind more difficult to master.

 

 

 

I hear what you say about not having to face/go into emotional baggage when you meditate and I understand it's about where your focus is, but you also say that mindfulness practice increases self awareness - surely because of this, a person becomes more aware of their baggage and they therefore have to deal with it?

 

You are right. Normally, as self awareness grows through mindfulness and meditation practice, we can become more aware of 'emotional baggage' (unresolved, unprocessed negative emotions that we've suppressed) and this awareness alone can feel unpleasant. This is when people can be put off by mindfulness.

 

That's why it's so important - vital even - at the same time to have a way of connecting with our positive innermost essence, or soul - the source of our wellbeing. It is possible to do this through a committed daily Mindfulness practice, although my personal experience has been that a Depth Meditation makes it much easier.  The more we connect and identify with our essence, the less we will identify with emotional baggage as it (naturally) surfaces into our awareness and we'll be able to both experience it with greater inner strength and resilience and we'll be able to let it go more easily, rather than reactively pushing it back down inside.

I can teach you a personal energy management technique to clear such previously stored emotion. As well as Coaching, Natural Energy Therapy can also greatly enhance this clearing process. 

 

 

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I am an agnostic / atheist / Christian / Muslim / other belief. I am concerned that your services appear to me to have an Eastern perspective and may be at odds with my beliefs. Is this the case?

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As I develop, more and more of my approach is informed by intuition, which becomes clearer and clearer as I connect with and identify ever more with my essence identity-soul. However, Yogic thought and wisdom has supported and informed that development over the years.

Yoga (including yogic meditation and breathing practices) actually predates Hinduism and Buddhism and later became allied with them as they developed in the same parts of the world.

However, these days Yoga and Meditation can be (and are) taught free from religious and cultural trappings in a practical, accessible and down to earth way and this is the case with how I teach and coach. While, where appropriate, I will acknowledge the origin of, for example Mindfulness teaching, (out of respect), you don’t have to take on new beliefs in order to feel the benefits. What can help, particularly with Meditation, is if you believe in the power of your own mind to bring you the benefits, whether you believe/feel you are linking with a higher power, or not.

 

Working inclusively is fundamental to my approach and I respect everyone's beliefs and experiences. With regular practice, the tools and techniques I teach can make you happier, healthier and more inspired – whatever your beliefs.

 

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On your website, you write about our 'soul' and 'spirit' as if they are the same thing. I don't agree. Please explain why you are doing this.

 

It's all too easily to get stuck in semantics in this more intangible area of human experience! The analytical mind loves to dissect and compartmentalise. It is for this reason that I will often label essence identity/soul/spirit as pretty much the same thing.

With respect to your question, however, what I will say is that for me personally (and I don't expect anyone else to share this view), our soul essence is a still spark of divinity at our core - a radiant sanctuary of love, peace and bliss, a sanctuary completely free of fear, pain and suffering (the experience of which is really beyond words). Our spirit is a dynamic direct expression of this in the world via the vehicles/filters of body and mind. That being said, everyone has their own take and I respect this.

 

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I am overweight and unfit. I am interested in meditation/mindfulness but am concerned about hurting myself through trying Yoga. How do you keep it safe for people?

 

Transformation Yoga is ‘Hatha Yoga’ which is gentle relative to other forms of yoga. The risk of injury is therefore reduced because of this. Contrary to popular belief, the main aim of Transformation Yoga is not about being able to get into the full posture. Rather, it is about maintaining good posture, poise and spinal alignment (this will be explained) through doing what you can comfortably – stretching but not straining. It is also about doing this with focused awareness of the body and breathing – a protective factor in itself.

The safety of Transformation Yoga is also maintained through:

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• Keeping class numbers relatively low – so that adequate support is available to each individual to keep their practice safe.

• Each student completes a registration form prior to attending any classes. This informs the teacher of any health conditions and any relevant medical advice for these (e.g. certain movements to avoid). The class can then be tailored to suit if need be. (The form is kept confidential.)

• In any case, alongside main asanas (postures/positions), easier variations and alternatives are taught, when necessary,  in order to maximise participant choice and control over how much or how little they do.

• Keeping everything optional. If you don’t feel to do something, you are free to rest.

 

 

 

'Self Mastery' sounds serious and not much fun. I like to 'lose control' sometimes and really let my hair down. In fact, I think being a bit crazy sometimes can be cathartic. What's your view on this?

 

I used to be like this. The sense of losing control can be exhilarating and exciting and that's why I did it... until I discovered meditation. Then I found something more deeply 'exciting' and 'exhilarating', but in a different way. I found meditation to be deeply satisfying and enjoyable, but realised I didn't need to lose control in order to feel that. It also meant I no longer did anything I later regretted!

 

For some, the idea of being 'master of ourselves' has connotations of being a strict disciplinarian with ourselves; perhaps stifling emotions and maintaining composure at all times... But it's not (or shouldn't be) like this.  Self Mastery is about self control (including 'self regulation'), but it is best and most easily practiced from an approach, or attitude, of self compassion - the ideal being perhaps that we practice being our own best friend - caring for and looking out for ourselves, with our own best interests at heart and allowing ourselves to feel and express whatever we need to.   

 

To give an example of the thinking mind, Self Mastery includes control of our thoughts, but again from the practice of this 'own best friend approach' and through the conscious choice that is enabled by and enhanced by the self awareness that naturally grows through mindfulness practice.

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This increasing awareness that, ultimately, we have a choice in every moment over what we think, feel, say and do - and the realisation that we don't have to be bound by habits and mental-emotional programmes and patterns - is the inner freedom/liberation that is the most genuine 'letting our hair down'. There's a lightness and a joy to it.